There’s nothing better than having a girls night in, gossiping about crushes, dating and boyfriends.
You’ve been with your best friend through all the ups and downs of dating and relationships. Through every first date and every heartbreak, you’ve had your best friend’s back.
It’s natural to feel protective over your best friend because you have her best interests at heart. You want her to be happy and succeed in everything she does.
This is why it sucks when your best friend replaces you with her boyfriend.
She starts talking to you less and even ignoring you, which really stings.
How can she forget all that you’ve been through together?
The truth is, she probably hasn’t.
She’s likely just caught up in the rush of romance and when you really think about it, you’d probably do the same thing.
There’s no need to sink into sadness when this happens.
Here are some great tips that will help you cope with your best friend replacing you and even help you strengthen your friendship.
1. Let yourself experience all the emotions
When your best friend starts getting serious with her boyfriend it’s easy to feel neglected and hurt.
She suddenly has less time for you and prioritizes her boyfriend over you.
It’s totally ok to feel mad when this happens. Afterall, she’s been your best friend for so long so it hurts when your friendship is put on the backburner.
You need to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions. You will likely feel sad, angry and even abandoned, but you need to work through these emotions rather than burying them.
When you hide your emotions and push them aside they can build up until you eventually explode.
Allow yourself to feel sad for a bit, then pick yourself up and start to move on. If you let the negative feelings consume you not only will your friendship suffer even more, but it can bring you down in every aspect of your life.
Choose to focus on the positive things in your life and do things that bring you joy. The more you focus on the good things, the easier it will be to release your negative feelings.
2. Communicate openly with your best friend
One of the most important things you can do to save your friendship is to openly communicate your feelings and frustrations.
When my best friend started getting serious with her boyfriend, she stopped talking to me, she would forget about plans we had together, and she started doing all of our favorite activities with her boyfriend instead of me.
I was extremely hurt and put off by her behavior. But instead of telling her how I really felt, I kept all my feelings bottled up and began acting passive aggressive towards her.
This is the worst thing you can do.
Oftentimes, your best friend is not fully aware of how her behavior is affecting you. You may feel like she is totally ignoring you but she might not be aware. It’s possible that she is so wrapped up in her new relationship that she doesn’t realize how much it’s hurting you.
Speak up about how you’re feeling or else she may never know that you’re sad or angry.
Talk to your best friend face-to-face and open your heart to her. Afterall, she is your best friend and has always been there for you in the past. Even though she has a new beau in her life, she should still have your back through this new challenge you’re facing.
3. Make concrete plans to spend time together
After you’ve told your best friend how you’re feeling, make concrete plans to get together.
Rather than texting on the fly and trying to plan something last minute, make plans in advance.
She’ll likely be spending most of her free time with her boyfriend. If you try to plan something on short notice, you might be disappointed when she doesn’t have time for you, ignores you or chooses her boyfriend over you.
Make plans to do an activity you always used to do together or plan to do something new and fun.
Just try to make sure that you’ll have her undivided attention. That way you’ll strengthen your friendship and get that quality time together you’ve been craving.
4. Get to know her boyfriend
A great way of dealing with this tricky situation is getting to know the guy.
You’re used to being the one your best friend spends the most time with, but now her boyfriend has taken your place.
Instead of forcing her to choose between the two of you, make a sincere effort to get to know her boyfriend.
Make plans to hang out in a group so you can talk with him and build a friendship. If you become friends with her boyfriend, your best friend will be thrilled and it means you can spend more time all together.
When your best friend is ignoring you or not speaking with you as often, she might just be wrapped up in her new relationship and giving him all of her attention. But as time goes on, a true friend will not ignore you. She will be eager for you to at least get to know her boyfriend, since after all, your approval means a lot to her.
5. Strengthen your other friendships
Losing your best friend to her boyfriend is painful.
It doesn’t mean the end of your friendship, but it will likely change the dynamics between the two of you.
Try not to worry too much, it’s a normal part of life that you’ll experience one day too. For the time being, you can focus on strengthening your other friendships.
Your best friend may lose interest in things like going out to parties or clubs, or even just hanging out in big groups.
Fill your life with other girl friends who will want to join you for these events. Also, hangout with single friends who can relate to you.
This shift in your relationship with your best friend will hurt less when you focus on your other friendships.
Having a group of supportive people around you will help you cope while you’re feeling hurt and a bit lost. You might be surprised at how much stronger your relationship becomes with your other friends!