As women, we’re usually encouraged by the media to lose weight.
So, if you find your boyfriend telling you he wants you to gain weight, you might be a little confused.
Sometimes guys are coming from a good place when they do this, other times not so much.
There are many reasons why your boyfriend might be asking you to gain weight, so let’s not waste time helping you get to the bottom of it.
Why Your Boyfriend Wants You To Gain Weight
If you know your man wants you to put on some weight, you probably want to know why.
Some reasons behind it might be signs you have a great partner, while others might reveal less desirable traits.
Here are some reasons why your boyfriend might want you to gain weight.
1. Health Reasons
If you’re already underweight, your boyfriend might see weight gain as a positive sign that your health is improving.
There are many health struggles that lead to weight related issues.
If you are battling an eating disorder, gaining weight is a sign of recovery. Or if you suffered an injury or underwent a procedure that resulted in a loss of appetite, gaining weight might be a sign of feeling better.
Overall, if his encouragement comes from a place of wanting to see your health improve, there’s no reason to worry!
A lot of people struggle with jealousy in relationships. Another reason your boyfriend might want you to gain weight is so that other guys aren’t attracted to you.
If your boyfriend is the jealous type, he might be subtly pushing you to “let yourself go” to reduce the chance (in his mind) that you’ll leave him for someone else.
This type of controlling behaviour isn’t healthy or good for a relationship. If your partner exhibits signs of jealousy, this is something you are better off addressing right away.
Keep reading to find out how!
When people act controlling of their significant other’s behavior, it’s often a sign of insecurity.
If your boyfriend is out of shape or not happy with the way he looks, he might be trying to get you to gain weight so that he can feel better about himself.
This type of insecurity is a little different from jealousy because it feels more competitive in nature.
Your boyfriend’s lack of confidence may lead him to believe that if you gain weight he’ll have the upper hand.
If this is the true motive behind your boyfriend’s desire for you to gain weight, it’s not something you should ignore. This type of thing will only continue to surface in other aspects of your relationship.
4. He has a fetish
Whether you want to believe it or not, there is a community of people out there, called “feeders”, who get sexual pleasure from the act or idea of their partner gaining weight.
Before you go making any assumptions though, it’s not super likely that this is the case. However, if you suspect your boyfriend to be part of this community you’ll need to decide how you feel about the whole thing.
Most of the time the relationships that foster this sort of dynamics are reciprocal, or at least involve both parties sharing an interest in this lifestyle.
Just make sure to be very aware of your boundaries and you’ll have nothing to be worried about.
What To Do About It
Have an open conversation with him
There’s really nothing better than open communication with the person you love. Anytime you find yourself feeling doubtful about something in your relationship, it’s almost always a good idea to talk to your partner about it.
Wait for a time that neither of you are busy and make sure to keep an open mind.
Let him know that you’re having some difficulty understanding why he wants you to gain weight. Try to make sure you listen carefully and give thoughtful responses.
Even if you get told some things you don’t really want to hear, it’s better to know all the facts so you can decide what you want to do next.
Speak to family or friends
If you have a close family member or friend you can confide in, getting a third-party perspective is always helpful.
You don’t want it to turn into something that people are gossiping about though, so just be careful who you open up to.
You can talk about your boyfriend’s motives to a sibling or best friend to help ease some worry or anxiety.
If you have any history of weight changes, chances are they will already know and be able to help you discern what’s healthy and what isn’t.
If you manage to confirm your worst concerns, don’t be afraid to dump him.
There’s no point wasting your time with him if the reason he wants you to gain weight is toxic.
Once your boyfriend bored of your weight being something he feels the needs to control, he will find something else, and the cycle will just continue.
When it comes to physical appearance, it’s hard not to assume the worst sometimes.
If your boyfriend wants you to gain weight, your next best course of action is to find out why. Once you know the reason behind it, you can decide what to do.
Don’t torture yourself by overthinking and just get to the bottom of it! Chances are, it’s not as bad as you think. Worst case scenario, you just learn more about your partner and relationship, which is never a bad thing.
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