Your birthday is the one day of the year that’s meant to be all about you. Whether you like being spoilt and celebrated for the whole week, or you’re happy for things to be kept more low-key, it’s nice to feel special on your birthday.
Whatever you envisaged doing on your birthday, ending up in tears because of your boyfriend probably wasn’t part of the plan.
So your birthday has been ruined… or has it?
Let’s take a look into why your birthday ended in disaster, how to move forward with your boyfriend, and what to do to make sure it never happens again!
Why did your boyfriend make you cry on your birthday?
So, what happened? If your boyfriend made you cry on your birthday it was probably for one of two reasons.
1. He upset you because he did, or didn’t, do something for you on your birthday
2. You had a fight completely unrelated to your birthday
Did your boyfriend decide to spend most of the day with his friends? Did he not get you a present, or even a card? Did he invite his whole family over when you said you wanted to spend the day with just the two of you? Did he completely forget it was your birthday?
These issues are usually a result of miscommunication or differences in expectations for celebrating a birthday.
In general, guys get less excited about occasions and special events, birthday’s are no exception.
While you might be upset that he didn’t put in any effort into planning something for your special day, your boyfriend might be quite happy just to chill and do nothing on his birthday.
Was it really his fault?
Now for the all important question…. was it really his fault?
You might think the answer is obvious, I mean he did make you cry, but let’s dig a bit deeper.
If your birthday was a disaster because your boyfriend failed to make it special, you need to consider whether you actually ever told him what your expectations were.
Maybe his family don’t make a big deal about birthdays, how was he purposed to know that you expected breakfast in bed and a surprise party?
While it would be nice for our boyfriends to do something super thoughtful and romantic for us without us having to explicitly ask them, the truth is that guys aren’t good at taking hints.
You can’t fully blame him for ruining your day if he genuinely didn’t realize you wanted him to plan something.
Another thing to think about is differences in your love languages. If gift giving is very low on his love language list, it might not even have crossed his mind to get you something. Was it really his fault?
Yes, it was his fault.
On the other hand, if you did make your boyfriend aware of what you wanted him to do for you for your birthday and he didn’t do it, without a very good explanation you have every right to be upset with him.
Even if something happened that meant he wasn’t able to get you a gift or organize anything, he should have told you in advance so you wouldn’t be expecting it on your birthday.
If he didn’t, this might be a sign that your boyfriend is a bit self-centered.
The worst case scenario is that he might not have done anything for your birthday because he’s not sure of the future of your relationship and doesn’t want to make you think everything is ok.
If you had a fight about something unrelated to your birthday and ended up crying, you need to consider whether your boyfriend purposely started an argument or if it was an argument that was going to happen anyway it just happened to fall on your birthday.
Your boyfriend should realize that it’s your day and he should try to let things go. If he needlessly pick a fight and made you cry, he’s not being a very good boyfriend.
Have him make it up to you
So, your birthday is ruined but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until next year!
If your boyfriend made you cry on your birthday and he’s truly sorry, he’ll want to make it up to you.
A great way to do this it to suggest celebrating your birthday again on a different day. Make sure to give him enough time to organize everything so you can celebrate how you originally had hoped to.
This is a great way to get over your disappointment and move forward without holding a grudge against your boyfriend.
How to make sure it never happens again
The most important thing after a disastrous birthday is to make sure it never happens again.
You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about how you are feeling and why you cried on your birthday.
Make sure he understands how important birthdays are to you and that he knows what you expect him to do for your birthday going forward.
If you really believe it was your boyfriend’s fault but he won’t acknowledge he was in the wrong, you need to think about whether he’s the right guy for you.
If you don’t fully address the issue now and come to a compromise, your next birthday might end on tears too.